Back from ‘daycation’ and time to gather my thoughts . . .

When I posted my little (?) vent the other day, I figured I can always come back and delete it if I come down with a case of ‘bad conscience’.  I just KNEW I needed to ‘get it off my chest’ before leaving so it wouldn’t ruin the ONE DAY AWAY Michael and I have had all year.

Upon returning home and reading the comments (and I did leave ALL comments posted) I’ve decided to leave it.  I guess I’m getting to ‘that age’ when I really don’t feel like I should have to ‘walk on eggshells’ to be sure I don’t hurt anyone’s feelings, ESPECIALLY when the ‘subject of my rant’ did not take MY feelings into consideration one tiny bit.  This whole thing will be buried deep into the bowels of my blog and long forgotten at the bat of an eye.

I fully realize how BAD this looks to anyone who may have visited my blog for the first time and ‘that post’ was their first impression.  I’ll take my lumps.  I STILL think it was better to get it off my chest than to let it stew and continue to bother me.

And I sincerely hope this does not deter any of my friends and customers and fellow ‘t2ters’ from asking questions.  THAT was totally not the point!  NOR is it about always getting paid for every little thing I do.  (because those of you who REALLY know me, know  that I am ‘generous ALMOST to a fault’).   It’s about setting some boundaries and not letting others take advantage of my time and talents.  AND common courtesy.  It’s about inspiring and HELPING others with their own trash 2 treasure projects; but to an extent.  There is a fine line between HELPING and doing the work yourself.

Seriously, would you ever walk up to a complete stranger on the street and compliment them on what they are wearing,  THEN ask them to go wardrobe shopping with you and help you select a new wardrobe???  Same difference.   OR email Martha Stewart and say you love her work, then ask her to help you decorate your bathroom, and be stunned that she declines.  No, I’m not putting myself in the same ‘class’ as Martha, but SHE puts herself out there as a professional and  shares ideas, and no one expects her to work for free.

Here is what she said in response to my reply:

“Um, wow. So I was planning on purchasing some of your custom signs and other things. The purpose of my email was not intended for free hand-outs and I am very highly offended that you chose me to take out your frustrations on. I was merely complementing your style and taste. If your hobbies are getting to hard for you to handle and you can’t take people complementing you or your crafts then maybe you shouldn’t put them out there for the world to see. Wow. I’m just still in shock. I’ve never been so attacked. I’m stunned.”

 HAD she started her first email with “I plan on purchasing some of your custom signs for redecorating my new bathroom” and THEN asked for help, my response would have been different.  I still would not have been able to really help her, given SO LITTLE to go on, but at least there was a possibility of a ‘little something in it for me’.  Does that make any sense???  There is just only SO MUCH ‘free advice’ any one person can AFFORD to give away.

I guess I just get TOO caught up in the ole ‘treat others the way you would want to be treated in return’ ideology.  And I would NEVER even ask for something like that, let alone expect a cheery response and obligatory free consultation.

And IF (when???) this ever happens again, I probably WILL respond differently; and say something like, “I’m sorry, you must have me confused with Dear Genevieve.”  or just send them a price list for what it costs for private consultations per hour!

Off my soapbox and back to work!

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Published in: on August 8, 2010 at 11:06 am  Comments (4)  
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4 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Can’t believe she called them “hobbies”!!!!!!!

  2. You made perfect sense, and I totally agree with you. Loved the last paragraph! That was priceless. You work hard at what you do….and yes, it is all about common courtesy.

  3. I am a new follower of your blog and was not turned off by your rant/venting in the least…sometimes it builds and builds and builds, and you just can’t take it anymore! It’s your blog and you are free to post what you’d like, and if people don’t like it then TOO BAD! I agree with you and everything you said. Thanks for having a terrific blog, keep up the good work! You are incredibly talented!

  4. I run a business also (consignment store) and do need paying customers to keep a float, so I totally know how you are feeling and know that you do have to get it off your chest once in a while but…..I find when I help someone out in one way or another it comes back to me 10 fold! Sometimes it costs me a little and other times it’s just free advise but I feel good about it when I am done. Sometimes that person comes back and are my best sale of the day. Possibly reminding your e-mailer of all the free ideas already listed on your blog would have been a kinder way to approach her. I feel what you said about purchasing your e-book was appropriate and that you do this for a living. That’s what usually gets to me ..it’s like I do this just for fun…not that it isn’t fun, but I need to pay bills like everyone else too. Oh No! Now I’m on my soapbox! I love all your great ideas! I am always excited to see an e-mail from you and what you’ve been up to! So, I don’t want you to loose that spirit and the fun and kindness I see in those posts. Sometimes you need to give just enough to entice someone and you get a whole lot more in return. So keep up the good work you do and I promise I will try not to ask for any free advice! Thanks for all that you have already given me by way of your blog! Peace and Love!


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