*** WARNING! This is a ‘just life stuff’ post with NO pictures, and it’s very loooooooooooooong. Remember, I warned you!
About this time a year ago I was battling one of my ‘annual respiratory infections'; which inconveniently came on at the same day as a huge snow storm that kept us ‘house-bound’ for five days. Not good!
By now I’ve learned that when I DO get sick, I get VERY sick, very FAST, and I do not wait to see how I feel in a day or so before going to the doctor. And my primary care doctor knows how sick I WILL get, so he puts me on antibiotics and steroids right away.
But last year, I couldn’t get to the doctor as soon as I got sick. We could not even get down the driveway for FIVE days. And by then I was way too sick to drive myself to the doctor and KNEW that they would want to do an x-ray to be sure it wasn’t pneumonia (again!), so Michael ended up taking me to the ER as soon as we could get out.
Due to the fact that I had had to wait those five days to get the medical care I needed, I got EXTRA sick and it took an EXTRA long time and two rounds of steroids and antibiotics for me to get better. sigh. I spent WEEKS in bed recovering; too sick and too tired to do anything. Except think; when I wasn’t sleeping (which I did a LOT of!)
I took a really long hard look at my ‘living situation’ being way out here in the boonies and it really hit home to me that this was NOT a ‘safe place’ for someone who has as many ‘medical issues’ as I have to be living. It’s just too far away from emergency AND regular medical care for me, and it was time for me to start thinking about where I should go next.
I thought and prayed about it a LOT. And finally; and very contentedly, came to the conclusion that I needed to live closer to civilization. I have a LOT of risk factors for having a stroke, and when one has a stroke, FAST medical treatment is SO important. I just don’t have confidence that I’d get the level of care that I’d need to survive a stroke living so far out in the country. And IF I had a stroke and survived but without motor function, they’d HAVE to give me a lobotomy or I’d go CRAZY not being able to DO anything!! (kidding but not really. I would go crazy!)
I waited about a month before I talked to Michael about my decision. I wanted to be sure that I was sure that it was what I NEEDED to do. And I wanted to figure out some of the logistics of where I would even GO from here. I looked around at some apartments. Thought ahead to what my life might be like five years from now . . . and with my son getting married this year . . . in five years I could very well have grandkids! And I MUST live in close proximity to my future grandkids!!
I decided that the BEST location for me was the same apartment complex that my son and his fiance now live in; but not BECAUSE they lived there. (because they won’t be there for long as they are getting ready to BUY a house!) Still, the location was ideal. Close to both of their work offices (for future grandchildren babysitting duty!) 5 minutes to the hospital, 5 minutes to my doctor. Just over 10 minutes to Stars and right between Portland and Beaverton. Basically convenient to ALL the places I go!
Once I had all that figured out, I needed to break the news to Michael. And I will tell all of you who read my blog the same thing I told him; that while I AM moving away from him, I am not moving TO get away from him. I’m leaving him, yes; but that is not the REASON I am leaving. We aren’t married, so no legal stuff to deal with in that regard. But still, after 12 years together, it’s not easy. I still love him, but I just can’t live out here any longer with all the inherent risks to my health and life! And Michael is not ready to leave his property, so in the near future, we will be parting ways.
I WAS waiting for the floor plan I wanted to become available at the apartment complex to determine my moving date. Hopefully sometime this spring or EARLY summer; because son’s wedding is the end of August! I have spent a LOT of time since last March ‘preparing for this move’. Sorting through massive amounts of craft supplies and donating a LOT of stuff to Goodwill. Packing the decorative stuff that I don’t need. EVEN drawing a ‘to scale’ diagram of the apartment and all my furniture pieces to be sure everything will FIT in the apartment. AND planning to actually work on the ‘furniture placement’ in the apartment ahead of time so I’d have a diagram on moving day! I know that sounds a bit anal. But if you lived in my defective body, you’d ‘get it’. I have to be sure that everything gets placed right where it’s going to stay while I have the movers to help, because I CANNOT life and move furniture around anymore. (Oh how I used to LOVE to rearrange furniture!!)
So, all that has steadily been in the works for the last year. A lot of ups and downs. Excitement for the future and sadness over what I’ll be leaving behind. But RELIEF that I don’t need to worry about not being able to get TO the medical care I need.
TO BE CONTINUED